i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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