belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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