Having a random hookup so left but love u
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize
