call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
