So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Randomize
