i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
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