Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
