Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
