I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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