____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Randomize
