Kiss
Puke
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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