More tranny stories later!
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
