just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Randomize
