Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
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