She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Just took my morning after pill in the library
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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