Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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