You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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