Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
