I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
