Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Randomize
