last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
