either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
