I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
