i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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