Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
How naked do you want me to be?
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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