Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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