Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
