And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
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