the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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