I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
