is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Randomize