if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
