Capitaan dildo arrescate!
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
OH MY GOD IT'S LIKE SHOOTING FISH IN A BARREL, EXCEPT INSTEAD OF FISH THEY ARE FIGHTER PILOTS
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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