it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
