i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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