with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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