I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
