i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
