I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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