should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
