if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
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