Christians are straight up FREAKS
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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