I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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