Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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