TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
