he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
