so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
