I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Randomize
