Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
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