Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I'm bleeding and have questions
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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