cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I look excited, but its just a facade.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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