I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
