Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
Randomize
