We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
