All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
