sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
